The PCS League

Welcome to the first installment of the PCS League, an ongoing contest between five weekly teams (Team Player (Alan), Team Fail (Matti), Team Doctor (Steve), Team Female (Ruth), and Team Jeremy (Jeremy)) and various weekly entries. The only rules are that there are 7 points per credit, and 12 credits per score.

Jay Cutler: 1 Point
1 point for winning against a horrible Minnesota Vikings.
-1 score for being awful all those other times.
1 score for providing a wonderful source of entertainment and laughter.

The New England Patriots: 2 Scores, 5 Points
2 scores, 5 points for being the most likable, most systematic, most dynamic, most powerful, most fastest-like-quicklightningsilver, most awesome, most beating-the-Cowboys, most bestest team in the NFL this week, and forever. I love objectivity.

Team Fail: 4 Points
3 points (retroactive) for the Lynx winning the WNBA Finals, and Matti 1) knowing about the game before it happened, 2) considering watching the game over playing flag football, and 3) knowing the outcome of the game and holding a (brief) discussion about it, even going so far as to send me a video of highlights. A dedicated fan.
-1 point for having 6 QBs on his roster in the keeper league. Troll.
1 point for always having the android icon in GMail chat no matter what, and thus leaving me incredibly confused.
1 point for disliking Apple.

Justin Timberlake: -1 Points
-1 point because when I saw the trailer for In Time, the concept of the movie was simply exciting, and I was in real anticipation by the end, that is, until I realized the movie was going to star Justin Timberlake. No other actor has killed my movie-watching drive as totally as Timberlake did here, except perhaps learning that Nicolas Cage co-starred in The Rock after previously only knowing that Sean Connery was the lead.

My Younger Brother Who Doesn't Know Anything About Football And Wasn't Even Paying Attention: 1 point
1 point for this conversation as I was leaving the house to drive back to Philly during the second quarter of SNF (CHI vs. MIN):
Andrew: (turns off TV)
Me: "Why did you turn off the game? Are you not going to watch any more?"
Andrew: (gestures to the TV) "I already know how this is going to turn out."
Just for reference, the score at this time was a manageable 16-3. My brother had looked up from his computer during a few key plays in which McNabb threw the ball into the ground at the feet of his receiver.

City of Philadelphia: 0 Points
1 point for the Eagles finally winning a game and stopping a losing streak.
-1 point for writing me two parking tickets within a one week span. The first time I was over by ~30 minutes in a place where I park and go over by ~30 approximately all the time. The second came in center city literally 6 minutes after my 2 hour time expired. I paid $4.00 to park for 2 hours from 1:33 until 3:33, and at 3:39, a parking officer strolled by and dropped an envelope on my windshield. At 3:42, I turned the corner having raced from the ENT clinic and saw $-36.00 enter my bank account.

Team Doctor: 2 Points
1 point because this team name is pretty awesome.
-1 point because Michigan lost to Michigan State. OK, so rankings were EDIT: NOT upheld, but no way this doesn't reflect on you personally. I mean, if a man can't be held personally responsible for the team that he supports, then what kind of man is he?
-1 point because the Lions lost to SF. See above. (Should I take a point off because the Tigers fell to the Rangers? Also, how do I even know this? Did I accidentally read a baseball headline?)
3 points because I have been informed that he is "killing it in med school". I'm not sure how much more irony can be packed into a statement. What is he killing? Is there something about Michigan's medical program that wasn't in their brochure? Is there a reason the cadavers there are particularly fresh?

NFL Fining Committee (or Roger Goodell, I guess): 1 Point
1 point for not fining Jim Schwartz or Jim Harbaugh for the Rumble in the Bay. And... Let's get ready to ruummmbbblleeeee!!! (Can somebody please make a semi-music video of the clip with that song in the background??? I can pay a commission.)

Team Jeremy: 5 Points
3 points for putting up a picture of a sumptuous paella and salad dinner.
1 point because I read at least 3 articles discussing something involving an NFL team somehow being based in LA.
1 point for disliking Apple.
-1 point because Tiger Woods is still irrelevant.
1 point because Jeremy always gets an extra point.

Natalie Portman: 2 Points
2 points because I randomly watched a clip of Thor while writing this, and it only confirmed what we all suspected... that Natalie Portman is SOOO hot...

Sapphire, AMD, Newegg, DHL, Post Lady At The Front Desk Of My Apartment: 1 Point
1 point for supplying me with a new video card, which has allowed me to enhance my gaming experience. (Description taken directly from the front of the box.)

Team Player: 1 Credit
3 points for telling me about going out on the town after the Cards entered the series and not finding anything.
1 point for suggesting that Jeremy's team be "Team Fruity Lakes". (???)
1 point because I like Alan.
1 point because Alan is older. (Happy Birthday!)
1 point because every player that enters Alan's fantasy team is stricken with the curse of Alan.
-1 point for continuing to use Saints and Packers WR on his fantasy despite me saying that it was dumb. Seriously though, I like the idea of winning the lottery, too.
1 point for liking airplanes. (Does Alan dislike Apple? I'm not even sure. He is a man of mystery.)

Rex Grossman: 0 Points
-1 point for throwing 4 interceptions in what was supposed to be the payback game from last year's beatdown.
1 point for fooling us into thinking that you possibly maybe just might have the slightest chance of being a decent quarterback. By like that much. (squeezes fingers together) That much.

Cincinnati Bengals: 1 Point
1 point for being so sneaky good at 4-2. Has anybody heard anybody say ANYTHING about the Bengals this year?

Team Female: 1 Credit
2 points for also telling me about going out on the town and so on, but after Alan already succeeded. Nice effort.
3 points for sending me "like fifty links" of the "A Football Life" with Bill Belichick from Youtube. I should dock you because you asked for more points.
1 point for calling Alan a female.
2 points for coming up with "Team Jeremy". No, seriously, we spent half an hour debating this. We got close with "Team Liberal" and "Team What The", but... nothing compares to Jeremy like Jeremy.
-1 point for mashing together "great" and "mean" to make "grean", then repeatedly referring to the two of us as the "Grean Team".
1 point for the Derrick Rose Adidas commercial with the bull fighting and rose petals in slowmo. This had to be done. That was a great commercial.
-1 point for liking Apple.
Team Female would have received another point, but I forgot what it was for, and I think Team Female has too many points already anyway.

Current Leaderboard (Top 6 Only, not including The New England Patriots for fairness):
1. Team Player (1 Credit)
1. Team Female (1 Credit)
3. Team Jeremy (5 Points)
4. Team Fail (4 Points)
5. Team Doctor (2 Points)
5. Natalie Portman (2 Points)

I think I'm going to write these while watching football, since it's not as if I'm every really going to use that time for anything productive anyway.

Edit:
1 point to Team Player for informing me of a previous error in which I stated that Michigan State was ranked higher than Michigan.

Updated Leaderboard:
1. Team Player (1 Credit, 1 Point)
2. Team Female (1 Credit)
3. Team Jeremy (5 Points)
4. Team Fail (4 Points)
5. Team Doctor (2 Points)
5. Natalie Portman (2 Points)